Below are two sample essays, with scores and critiques from an actual IELTS examiner.
Question: Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Word Requirement: 250 words)
Essay 1
Looking back on the last two generations, our parents receive the education system that is regulated to include both sexes. The pre-organized mechanism allows both male and female students to understand each other better as well as to create a better environment for the students to come up with a variety of solutions when facing difficulties. Therefore, I strongly agree that universities ought to accept fair numbers of male and female students in all subjects.
To begin with, university is a place where people learn. In other words, no one should be excluded or limited to choose what they want to take part in. Also, with equal sexes in classes, students can exchange different ideas from opposite sex that according to a study, it stimulates students to think.
Next to go would be, no one can deny that universities are stepping stones of the fickle society. If a student who go to a university that only accept males or females, they would not be full fledge to deal with various problems that will be encountered after they graduate.
To sum up, based on the abovementioned, history is the mirror of tomorrow; thus, keep taking in the same amount of male and females students would accelerate students’ learning efficiency.
Comments: The essay is a bit short and the conclusion could use a bit more content. There is some awkward phrasing but overall, the writing shows a sense of style. The use of vocabulary is advanced, the organization is strong and the introduction leads nicely into the essay. If the essay was a bit more developed, it would score a 7 but because it is short, it would achieve an IELTS 6.5.
Essay 2
Nowadays, females and males are at equal status. In many ways, girls can do some difficult jobs like working in a factory and even more better than boys. In addition, man can be a nurse and more careful than women. Thus, in universities, of course they should accept equal numbers of male and female student in every subject for university may affect what people do in the future.
In the past, there were few or even no boys studied nursing for they had stereotype-nursing was not suit boys because it was too ‘female.’ Besides, people thought men were not careful, they were careless and it would be dangerous to patients. However, this stereotype caused males not to got into nursing even though how much they wanted to be.
Besides, it was the same condition as girls. Girls were limited by their parents or people’s thought. What girls studied were nursing, English, French or something more ‘quiet’ instead of powerful. For example, if female majored in mechanic, people would think, “What? You get into mechanic?” “What can you do in the future? You are not stronger than men, what you should do is teacher or secretary, so you should choose other subjects.” Therefore, how unfair it was.
No one can decide what boys and girls want to be, people should not depend on their thought to consider what they suit for. There are no absolutely answers that men should do what and women should studied what. Consequently, just accept them instead of say something to let them listen to your advices and be the person you want them to be.
To sum up, I agree that equal numbers of boys and girls access to every subjects in university. Do not dwell in the past, people should change their thought and make a more diversity society. Try to respect others decision and their subjects or works rather than use gender to decide what they should be or what subjects what they should major in.
Comments: This essay does meet the word count and the organization is very clear. There are some good points made and some good use of complex sentences. However, there are several awkward phrases, agreement problems, and overall usage errors. This would likely score a 5.5 on IELTS.
